It’s been that sort of week. You know what I mean, the kind of week in which you have to have a routine colonoscopy, and then, you have to go to the dentist because you’re pretty sure (having experienced this in the past) that you have a tooth infection, and you’re told you have to have root canal. Yes, that’s right, I said a colonoscopy and the discovery that you need root canal in the same week. Now, I know, that’s not like being hauled off to a POW camp or watching someone stab your spouse to death or being told you only have a week to live or anything, but still, it’s a pretty lousy week.
The good news, is that I got to have anesthesia. Anyone who’s ever had a colonoscopy will tell you that the worst part is the prep you have to endure the day before (which is 100% true, especially for a baby like me who hates any intestinal disturbances). I tried distracting myself that day by watching mindless movies like Something Borrowed and Monster in Law, which worked — sort of. I also decided to get all nostalgic and watch Pretty in Pink, to discover that, yes, I still have a huge crush on Andrew McCarthy as Blaine and that the soundtrack still rocks, but that it’s a pretty lame, predictable plot.
The actual colonoscopy, though? Piece of cake, especially for us insomniacs. I may have managed to live my whole life not the least bit interested in snorting cocaine or dropping acid or injecting myself with heroin, but if anesthesia were a street drug? I’d probably be in the gutter. Oh, to have a little anesthesia angel who would fly down at 3:00 a.m. sometime and hover over me with that IV to put me back to sleep until 7:00 a.m.
Now, if only root canals required anesthesia…